I thought I was getting better. In my previous post, The Cleft, pt.2, I mentioned I had been improving and had been home a week. The next week, life took another twist. My ability to process oxygen began to fade. Your oxygen “saturation” should be in the upper 90% range. Mine dropped to the mid-70’s and we couldn’t get it back up. So, after two weeks at home we went to the hospital on a Sunday evening. The thought was, I got off the oxygen to quickly in rehab, and should have come home with oxygen available. Trish and I figured we would be in the hospital overnight and come home on Monday with oxygen.
Instead, the ER staff began checking me out and discovered pneumonia. I wound up in the hospital for another 8 day stay. Trish took off work and stayed with me the whole week. We finally came home the following Monday evening with an oxygen supply. I was in a wheel chair at the time, and starting to use a walker. Now I’m mostly using just a cane, and have portable oxygen tanks I can carry with me. I am getting stronger, it seems, day-by-day. However, I have also had to reconcile with the fact that for now, at least, I am quite limited. And, there is a possibility I may never get back to the life I used to live.
For the present, there is very little I can do. I used to joke, “I love work. I could sit and watch it for hours.” I have always been a hard worker, and now that there is very little I can do, that joke isn’t as much fun. A few days ago, I came to grips with the possibilities. I could fully recover, or not. Either way, I trust God, and I will be fine. Today, I got my Bible and journal and sat on a bench in our flower garden by the pond. Trish and our son, Adam, were clearing up more of the limbs and dead shrubs from last October’s ice storm. It was hard watching them work so hard, and not being able to help. At the same time, I had a peace that this is the way it is supposed to be right now.
This is a season when I need to get to be knowing God better. In my inability to do much lately, I have thought about my Aunt Jean. When she was a small child, blind and crippled, she couldn’t play with the other children. They talked about having best friends they spent time with. She had no one. So, she asked God to be her best friend. Sounds like a really good idea to me.
The first chapter of Extreme Gratitude is about Knowing Him. For now, that is my primary objective and purpose, getting to know my Best Friend better, understanding Him, His love, His purposes, and His Word—living, written, and spoken. Next is prayer—faithful, consistent, intercessory, and clothed in thanksgiving. Third, is probably working on my new book—working title is Praying in Extreme Gratitude. All in all, now is the season for me to focus on the Father, and be thankful and at peace with what I can or can’t do physically.
Featured image was painted by my long-time friend, Bob Williford.